HULK-OPHOBIA
by Sammy246
Summary: It has been almost a month since Loki had been stopped in New York. He was sent to Asgard for trial. His sentence was to live on Midgard, stripped of his powers and to aid the avengers at stark tower. However Loki never quite got over his meeting with Bruce. He's developed what he likes to call Hulk-ophobia . Meant to be comedy! R
1. Chapter 1

This was just an idea that sprung to mind! I know that I should be focusing in my main story but I just wanted to write this.  
Enjoy...

It has been almost a month since Loki had been stopped in New York. He was sent to Asgard for trial. His sentence was to live on Midgard, stripped of his powers and to aid the avengers at stark tower...

"I'm not going to ask again! Which one of you pathetic mortals put my clothes in the wash?" Loki spat angrily.  
He stood in the kitchen in his pyjamas angrily holding out a bundle of Asgardian clothes that were about ten times too small for him.  
"It wasn't me."Tony replied, taking a large bite of toast that was covered in jam. "Ask the star spangled man without a plan."  
Steve looked up from the counter where the toaster was. He was pressing buttons at random.  
"These toasters are so different to the old ones." Steve mumbled under his breath.  
"Well Steve?" Loki shouted.  
"I didn't touch them; I can barely manage the toaster let alone the washing machine." Steve mumbled with his face over the toaster.  
"Ow!" Steve shouted as the toaster let out a blast of scorching air.  
Loki let out a loud shout of frustration.  
Just then Pepper walked in wearing a black dress and carrying a load of folders. She set them down on the table with a heavy thud.  
"Miss Potts, do you know which one of these foolish mortals put my clothes in your midgardian cleaning device." Loki inquired.  
Pepper was the only one of the residents of stark tower that Loki was polite to.  
"Well... You see Loki, I put your clothes in the wash." Pepper answered.  
"Why?" Loki asked coldly, reigning his anger in.  
"They stunk! You've been wearing the same clothes everyday since you came to Earth." Pepper argued.  
Loki threw the clothes down on the floor.  
"I refuse to wear midgardian clothes." Loki said defiantly.  
Tony looked up from his morning coffee and suggested "Why don't you ask Thor to get some from Asgard for you?"  
"I'm not talking to Thor." Loki said.  
"And Thor isn't talking to you." Thor mumbled as he sleepily walked into the kitchen. His blonde hair was tousled and sticking up from his sleep.  
"What am I supposed to wear? I can't stay in these all day!" Loki said.  
"Yes you can. I wish I could stay in my pyjamas all day. "Natasha said, also coming into the kitchen.  
Tony had annoyingly set an alarm on Jarvis that so everyday they would all be woken up at the same.  
"I want a room change." Natasha complained. Her room was next door to Thor's.  
"Why?" Pepper asked.  
"Have you heard Thor snore? It's like an earthquake and then theres that stupid alarm of Tony's." Natasha said.  
"Stop being lazy." Tony said.  
"Oh, I'm lazy-" Natasha started  
"We'll sort it out later. I have work to do." Pepper said, stopping the argument.  
Pepper then left the room, taking the large pile of files with her.  
"Excuse me! What will I wear?" Loki shouted loudly.  
The door clicked open and in the doorway stood Bruce Banner. He stumbled into the room; rubbing his eyes.  
"What's all the shouting about." He asked.  
Loki suddenly froze; all the colour drained from his face and his eyes widened.  
"I- um nothing. I need to use the bathroom." He said and bolted out the room.  
"Is it just me or does that guy need the toilet every time he sees me?" Bruce asked as Loki slammed the door behind him.  
Loki thundered down the corridor.  
"Hey Loki, nice pyjamas." Clint said as he walked towards the kitchen.  
Loki's pyjamas were a dark green with small gold helmets.  
He ran into his room and closed the door behind him.  
"What's up with him?" Clint asked as he stepped into the kitchen...  
I hope you enjoyed it! Let me know if you liked it! Also if anybody has any ideas for a scene where hulk and Loki are in the same room together please share!


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for all your wonderful suggestions!

Loki stood in the strange device that the midgardians called an elevator. After a month of being in this wretched place he had finally learnt how to control the elevator and found out it was very useful to get to the roof.  
Loki loved to sit on the roof and glare at the New York skyline; he would sit for many an hour plotting about how he would destroy Midgard when he got his powers back.  
"Hey, wait there!" Loki heard a someone shout.  
Bruce came down the hallway carrying a large box full of science equipment.  
Loki began to frantically press the buttons; silently, willing the elevator to close  
"Loki, wait! What's the rush?" Bruce said, beginning to run.  
The elevators doors began to close, much to Loki's delight. But Bruce just managed to side step in.  
Loki began to panic, he was contained in this metal box with the green beast man.  
"What floor you going up to?" Bruce asked.  
"The top floor." Loki whispered.  
"Pardon?" Bruce asked.  
Loki cleared his throat and repeated what he had said.  
"I'm going to the science lab. I think I've discovered something new." Bruce said excitedly. He was practically bouncing with happiness.  
Loki pressed the buttons and shrunk into the corner.  
"Are you alright? You've gone really pale." Bruce asked.  
"Umm... Yes. I'm allergic to umm... Whatever's in that box of yours." Loki replied dimly.  
"You're allergic to plastic tubes and glass beakers?" Bruce asked, chuckling slightly.  
"I-er- don't talk to me you mortal. It is beneath me!" Loki said as it was the only thing he could think to say.  
"You remember what happened the last time you said that." Bruce said. Of course he was only joking but Loki's mouth began to open and close like a fish.  
"Relax, I'm only kidding." Bruce said.  
Loki ignored him and stared straight at the wall until he heard a unearthly screech as the elevator shuddered to halt.  
Bruce was thrown of balance and all his science equipment leapt into the air. Glass beakers came shattering down around them.  
"What has happened?" Loki asked tentatively.  
"The elevators broken down. Don't worry. I'll get Tony to fix it." Bruce said, pressing and holding a button.  
"Hey, Tony. Are you there?" He spoke into the small speaker.  
"Yeah, what's the matter?" Tony's voice spoke from the other side.  
"The lifts broken down. I'm in here with Loki." Bruce replied.  
"I'm on it. We better get Loki out before he dies of a panic attack." Tony joked.  
"I'm not scared!" Loki shouted from behind Bruce.  
A few minutes later the elevator came back to life and began to move again. Loki stood huddled in the corner until the elevator let out a loud ping and the doors opened at the science labs.  
It was the most heavenly noise Loki had ever heard. Bruce stepped out the elevator and sighed at his shattered test tubes.  
"Jarvis, clear them up,please." Bruce said. "Bye Loki, you should come and check the labs out sometime."  
"Maybe." Loki said although he knew that meant NO.  
When Loki got to the roof he sat in his favourite spot and plotted...

Keep the suggestions coming!


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for all your lovely comments and suggestions! This chapter was inspired by Sagitarizzie's idea! **  
**Enjoy...**  
"Aghhh! Run! Everybody run!" Clint screamed as he came stumbling into the room.  
He crashed into the living room were Thor and Loki sat. Both were facing away from each other with their arms firmly crossed. Natasha sat on the sofa that was opposite them, looking bored.  
"Goodness me, you guys are such babies. Can't you at least **look** at each other." Natasha complained.  
"No." Thor and Loki said in unison.  
"Run!" Clint shouted leaping in Natasha face like a madman.  
Natasha, Thor and Loki were suddenly on their feet and looking alert.  
"What troubles you Clint?" Thor asked.  
"Bruce! He's hulked out! He's smashing everything. He's got Tony!" Clint shouted.  
At the sound of his name Tony came staggering in the room. His clothes were ripped and his face was battered and bruised.  
At first Loki had believed that Clint was lying but now he really began to panic.  
"He's th... the ... Hulk?" Loki whispered.  
"Yes! He's gone absolutely crazy! He's destroyed the entire science lab!" Tony practically screamed at them.  
"We've got to get out!" Loki shrieked.  
"No, Loki, we have to fight him." Tony said solemnly.  
Loki went so pale his skin was almost transparent.  
"Fight him?" Loki asked.  
"Yes, that's what I said." Clint said, but as soon as he said it he discreetly whipped his phone out as Loki's attention turned towards Tony.  
"I'm allergic to fighting." Loki said as his eyes rolled back and he fell unconscious to the floor.  
"Wow! I didn't expect him to pass out. Clint did you get it all on camera." Tony asked, grinning happily at his own cleverness.  
"Tony, Clint, that was a cruel jest." Thor said disapprovingly; but it was obvious that he was trying to suppress a smile.  
"I actually thought you were being serious." Natasha said looking down at Loki who lay on the floor.

An hour later Loki awoke on the sofa. Tony and Clint stood around him.  
"Are we all alive?" Loki muttered.  
"Hey, cow helmet guy! Did you like our prank?" Tony asked enthusiastically.  
"P- prank?" Loki asked, sitting up.  
"Yeah, Clint did the bruises." Tony said proudly.  
"Aren't I good?" Clint asked.  
Natasha stood behind Clint and muttered "I'm not even going to ask whose make up you used, cause if it's mine, I'll kill you."  
"No, it's Peppers." Tony said.  
"So wait... Bruce did not hulk out." Loki said rubbing his forehead.  
"No it was all a prank!" Tony said, chuffed.  
"You can't play pranks on me. I'm in charge of mischief!" Loki objected loudly.  
"Yes we can and I've even put you fainting on YouTube." Clint said.  
"YouTube? What's at YouTube..."

**I hope you enjoyed that chapter and remember to keep the suggestions coming! Without suggestions there's no chapters! **  
**P.S Thewriterstory, don't worry! Loki isn't going to be evil in this story! He's just holding a very large grudge...**


	4. Chapter 4

I know that this is a day late but here it is! Thanks for all the fab suggestions, they haven't gone unnoticed!  
"What is this strange thing." Loki asked.  
"It's called lego, Loki." Natasha said, picking up a red brick.  
"What is it used for?"Loki said, for he had a suspicion that they were mini tesseracts.  
"They're kids toys. They can build stuff with it." Natasha said.  
Both Natasha and Loki sat cross legged in the living room surrounded by heaps of colourful lego.  
"If they are children's toys, why do Tony and Bruce posses so much of it?"Loki inquired.  
"Oh,Tony uses it to design his suits and I think Bruce uses it to de-stress." Natasha said casually.  
Natasha's phone beeped loudly and Loki jumped. She pulled it out and read the message.  
"I've got to go. I'll see you later Loki. Enjoy the lego." Natasha said, she got up and left the room.  
"This is a foolish toy." Loki muttered, although he was drawn to the bright bricks.  
He carefully looked around him to check that there was no one in the room with him and then began to play with the lego.  
He openly piled them on top of each other first but soon he was building structures.  
He sat for hours on end playing with the bricks until he had constructed the while of Asgard. Lego towers rose high into the sky.  
Thor was walking past when he saw Loki with the modal Asgard. He opened the door quietly and stood behind Loki. Loki heard his heavy footsteps but ignored him.  
"You miss home?" Thor asked.  
"No." Loki lied.  
The truth was he missed home so much it hurt. He missed his mother.  
"Go away brother. I'm busy." Loki said.  
"If you wish it." Thor said.  
"Yes, I do wish it." Loki said.  
Thor turned and left with a smile; Loki had called him brother.  
Loki sat for many more hours reconstructing the huts and farms.  
"That's brilliant. Can I take a picture?" A voice said from behind Loki.  
Loki recognised the voice and whipped around to see Bruce standing behind him.  
"I- I - I..." Loki stuttered.  
"Thanks." Bruce said, using his phone to take a picture.  
"This is actually amazing. Any away Pepper told me to tell you that dinners made." Bruce said.  
"Dinner? Already?" Loki said surprised.  
"Yes, it 7pm." Bruce said.  
"Time does fly." Loki said leaving the room.  
In the kitchen, everybody was crowded around the table and tucking into the piles of food.  
"Tony, we really need to get a bigger table." Pepper said.  
"I'll do it tommorow."Tony said.  
"You say that about everything." Pepper complained.  
Loki went cold all of a sudden. The only available seat was right next to Bruce. He decided he would eat later, but his stomach disagreed with him and grumbled loudly.  
Slowly he walked and sat down next to Bruce. Dinner seemed to be going perfectly fine until Tony began to flick peas at Bruce.  
Loki sighed and shook his head. These midgardians were so immature.  
"Stop it Tony." Bruce said but Tony continued.  
Loki saw a green pallor creep up Bruce's hand. Loki's breath stopped in his throat and sweat trickled down his spine.  
"Are you okay Loki? You're hyper ventilating." Pepper asked concerned.  
"Yes, I'm quite alright." Loki said although he was not.  
Maybe he had just imagined Bruce turning into the Hulk.  
The noise around the table began to suddenly become deafeningly loud. Everything was spinning around in circles. Faster and faster.  
Loki could not take it anymore. He stood up and shouted loudly amongst all the din.  
He then ran out the room, screaming, "Don't smash me!"  
"What's up with him?" Clint asked.

I hope you liked it and keep the suggestions coming!


	5. Chapter 5

This chapter was inspired by SJBHasADayPass' review! Thanks for all the wonderful suggestions!

"Hey, you cheated!" Clint shouted, throwing a cushion at Natasha.  
"No, I did not!" Natasha said throwing the cushion back.  
All of the avengers sat slumped lazily on chairs; it was a Sunday and they'd finally got a day off from beating up baddies.  
Natasha and Clint were playing on Mortal Combat and taking it far too  
seriously.  
"Natasha won fairly." Bruce said, looking up from his work.  
"Just face it Hawky, you're rubbish at this game." Tony mocked as he threw small pieces of popcorn at Loki head.  
"Tony will you stop that! I'm trying to read!" Loki demanded.  
At first they had all been delighted that they had a day off but their excitement was soon quenched with boredom.  
"Tony, leave my brother alone." Thor grumbled, half heartedly.  
"Be quiet Thor, I don't need your help." Loki said.  
Thor ignored him and carried in watching Natasha and Clint. He was confused as to why midgardians enjoyed controlling the little people on the magic box and making them fight each other.  
Steve sat in an arm chair polishing his shield.  
"I'm bored!" He complained. "People nowadays spend to much inside. Back when I was a kid..."  
"Alright grandad, we get the picture." Tony butted in.  
They heard the door open and then lock.  
"I'm back!" Pepper called from down the hallway.  
She opened the door and looked at the dull scene.  
"Well, we're a lively bunch today!" Pepper.  
All she got in reply was a collective "Mmm" of acknowledgment.  
"Hello to you all too. Thor I got your pop tarts." Pepper said."  
Thor literally jumped out of his seat and ran to Pepper, who handed him a large bag that was splitting at the seams with pop tarts.  
"Thank you Lady Pepper." Thor said as he went to the kitchen to prepare his favourite snack.  
"Well, I'll leave you guys to your jolly gathering. I'm going to try on my new clothes!" Pepper said and exited.  
Clint let out a loud shout of frustration as Natasha beat him again. He threw the controller into Bruce's lap and stomped out angrily.  
"Loki do you want a turn?" Natasha asked.  
"I don't know how." Loki mumbled.  
"I'll show you, come here." Natasha said.  
Soon Loki had gotten a hang of the controls.  
"Play against Bruce." Tony suggested.  
"I don't really agree with violent video games." Bruce said.  
"Oh just be quiet and play." Tony said.  
"Fine then. But only one game."Bruce agreed.  
Soon, Loki and Bruce were fully involved in the game.  
"Come on Bruce!" Natasha shouted.  
Bruce let out a triumphant shout as he won.  
"That is not fair! I demand a rematch!"  
"I won fairly!" Bruce said.  
"I will not stand for this injustice! I am a prince!" Loki said, throwing down the control on the floor.  
"Hey, that cost a lot!" Tony complained.  
And with that Loki stormed out the room and slammed the door behind him.  
"Wow, he takes things way too seriously..." Tony said.

Hope you enjoyed it! There wasn't so muck hulkophobia in this chapter.  
Anyways, keep the great suggestions coming.


	6. Chapter 6

**This chapter was inspired by Destiel101's review! Thanks for all the brilliant suggestion! I'll try to use them all!  
Enjoy...**  
"Go on Steve! You can do it!" Natasha cheered.  
The avengers sat around the table cheering while Tony and Steve arm wrestled.  
It had just started as a single game between Tony and Steve and then it had soon advanced into a match with everybody watching them, even Bruce, who had actually managed to tear his eyes away from his research.  
Tony's face had turned as red as his suit.  
"Wow Cap, your stronger than I thought." Tony grunted through gritted teeth.  
"It's in the name metal man. Super soldier." Steve retorted.  
With a final shove, Steve managed to push Tony's hand onto the table.  
"Yes! I did it! Told you were nothing without your suit!" Steve said triumphantly.  
"Oh be quiet spangles!" Tony said but he let Steve enjoy his triumph because for once Steve wasn't complaining about how things weren't like they were in the old days.  
"Who hasn't had a turn?" Tony asked.  
"Bruce and Loki." Clint piped up.  
Loki looked up from his book. He sat away from the rest, on the sofa, he had been pretending to be reading but he was really watching the matches.  
"There is no way that I will join in your childish games." Loki snapped.  
"Come on Loki! It's only one game and you didn't think it was childish when we played it in Asgard." Thor said.  
"Aww, is ickle baby Loki afraid of Brucey?" Tony mocked.  
Loki's face turned bright red.  
"I'm not afraid of anyone! I will play your childish game if it makes you happy." Loki bellowed.  
He stormed over to the seat opposite Bruce and sat down.  
Suddenly, Bruce shouted "Guys, look there's a chitauri outside!"  
Everybody turned around craning their necks to see the enemy.  
"You don't have to if you don't want to." Bruce whispered so quietly only Loki could hear.  
"I don't need your concern. I'm fine." Loki whispered back.  
"False alarm! Must've just been a big bird or something." Bruce said.  
They all turned back around.  
"One, two, three!"Clint said."Go!"  
The arm wrestle pushed hard on Loki's hand but Loki's face remained impassive and his hand remained unmoved.  
"What?!" Bruce said in shock. He shoved harder.  
Still Loki's hand did not move.  
"I'm superhuman. Frost Giant. You can't beat me." Loki said bluntly, truth be told he was very pleased with himself.  
"But I'm the Incredible Hulk! I can win! I always win!" Bruce said beginning to get frustrated.  
"Not this time, my friend." Loki said smirking.  
Anger rose up in Bruce's face but Loki did not relent, that was until he saw the emerald flash in Bruce's eyes.  
Loki instantly let go of Bruce's hand. His face went deathly pale and he began to stutter about smashing.  
"Are you okay, Loki?" Bruce asked.  
Loki abruptly stood up an the chair he sat on fell to the ground.  
He ran out the room as though he was being chased by a bigglesnipe.  
"I didn't do anything! I swear!" Bruce said with his hands up.  
**I hope you enjoyed it and thanks for the suggestions. Keep them coming!  
Don't be embarrassed to share!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you to all of you for your great ideas! As I've said before I'll try to use every idea that I receive!  
Enjoy... **  
"I do not wish to attend." Loki said huffily, crossing his arms like a small child.  
"C'mon Cowman! It'll be fun." Tony said happily.  
"How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that." Loki said.  
"Sorry. It's the helmet. Why do you even have to wear that thing indoors anyway?" Tony laughed.  
Loki sat on his bed dressed in his full Asgardian suit, cape and armour included.  
"Because I wish too. And I'm not coming." Loki said.  
"Why not?" Tony said.  
"I don't want to. Living in this ugly building is bad enough." Loki complained.  
"Hey, don't insult my baby!" Tony said defensively."Don't listen to the nasty man." Tony said patting the wall.  
Pepper had planned for all the avengers (and Loki) to all have sleep over in the living room of stark tower to 'strengthen the team bond.'  
For some reason Tony doubted it would work. On the other hand, Steve had been all for it. Thinking it was a great way to make the team closer.  
"I know why you're not coming!" Tony said with realisation dawning on his face."Because Bruce is going to be there!" Tony said.  
"Why would you say that? Whether or not Bruce is there has no relevance to me what so ever." Loki said, going red in the face.  
"Don't lie. We all know you're scared of him." Tony said.  
"Am not." Loki said, turning the colour of beetroot.  
'Did I make it that obvious?' Loki thought.  
"Scaredy cow!" Tony laughed.  
"How dare you, you foolish mortal! I am not scared and nor am I a cow!" Loki shouted.  
"So, does that mean your coming?" Tony said innocently.  
"Yes, I'll come but don't expect me to participate." Loki said.  
With a grin Tony left Loki's room and went to convince Clint.  
A few hours later the living room floor was littered with a range of different coloured sleeping bags.  
"You're so vain Tony." Steve said, pointing to Tony's 'Iron Man' sleeping bag.  
"It's not vanity! I just like how my suit looks." Tony said.  
Steve rolled his eyes.  
"It's better than yours." Tony said.  
Steve's sleeping bag was covered in red, white and blue stripes that looked much like his shield.  
Thor's was bright red with a large Mjolnir printed in the centre.  
Loki's was a deep green with tiny sceptres all over it.  
Bruce's was also green but it was a bright purple on the inside. Natasha's was black and red.  
However, Clint had yet to still unfold his.  
"Come on Clint, it can't be that bad." Natasha said quietly.  
"It is. Everybody will laugh at me." Clint whispered.  
"No they won't. You can't just sleep on the floor." Natasha reasoned.  
"Fine." Clint said.  
He slowly unrolled it to reveal a Lord of The Rings Legolas sleeping bag.  
Natasha had to try very hard to restrain her laughter.  
"Nice sleeping bag Hawky." Tony said.  
"Shut up Tony." Clint muttered.  
The rest of the night was chaos. Tony and Clint ran around madly, creeping up on people and then scaring them. Because it was so dark it was hard for the rest to see them coming.  
Loki was bored however. His sleeping bag was next to the green mans and Thor's.  
Bruce was so absorbed in his laptop that he looked as if he wanted to fall into it.  
Thor was busy munching on his huge plate of pop tarts and laughing at Clint and Tony's shenanigans.  
Before he knew it Loki had drifted off.  
A loud shriek came from the other side of the room; Clint had managed to scare Natasha by pouring water over her head.  
"Quieten down. My brothers asleep." Thor demanded.  
"So is Steve." Bruce declared.  
But they carried on late into the night.  
It was now past two am and the last of the chatter had died.  
Everybody was asleep until a unearthly scream erupted from Loki's mouth.  
Thor rubbed his eyes and woke up.  
"Brother, what's wrong?"  
"The hulk! Aghhhh!" Loki shouted and then suddenly as if nothing had happened he fell asleep again.  
"He really needs a therapist." Steve said...  
**Hope you all enjoyed that chapter! It was based in a sleepover I had with my cousins in the summer.  
Anyway, I was thinking of doing a hulkophobia Christmas special nearer Christmas time, so if you have any suggestions please share!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks for all the lovely Christmas suggestions! I don't know which one to choose, maybe I'll just mix them all!  
Enjoy...**  
"I'm hungry." Steve mourned.  
"We know Steve. You told us five minutes ago." Pepper and Natasha said in unison.  
"Whose turn is it today?" Steve said.  
"I don't know; I've lost track." Natasha said.  
"I'm soo hungry!" Steve whinged.  
"Here, eat these." Natasha said, throwing him a packet of crisps.  
Steve looked at them in disdain.  
"This isn't a proper meal!" Steve complained.  
And just at that moment Tony burst into the room looking as though he'd found the best thing in the world.  
"I've done it! I have the answer!" Tony said pleased with himself.  
"What have you done genius?" Pepper asked.  
"Is it food?" Steve asked hopefully.  
"I have devised a rota." Tony said.  
"A rota for what?" Natasha said.  
"For who cooks on what days." Tony said triumphantly.  
"Great! Who's cooking today!" Steve asked.  
Tony looked at the piece of paper and declared "Bruce and Loki."  
"Tony, you did that on purpose. You shouldn't tease him so much." Pepper said.  
"Everybodies scared of something Tony, that doesn't mean you have to use it to your advantage." Steve said.  
"Wise words oh patriotic one." Tony said sarcastically. "The rota stays the same."  
Natasha, Steve and Pepper simply rolled their eyes while Tony bounded like the corridor to find Loki and Bruce.  
He found Bruce in his lab mixing some chemicals together.  
"Oh, hi Tony. How can I help you?" He said.  
"I have made a cooking rota. Today it's yours and Loki's turn." Tony said with a sly smile on his face.  
"Tony..." Bruce said disapprovingly.  
"You're expected in the kitchen in five." Tony demanded.  
He made his way to Loki's room. It was never hard to find Loki; he was sulking in his room most of the time.  
"Hey, reindeer, it's your turn to cook today." Tony said, bursting in.  
"What?! I am a prince! I cook for no one! Besides I've never cooked anything in my life!" Loki spluttered.  
"Live with it. Thor's a prince and he's agreed to it." Tony said.  
"He'll probably make them vile things he loves so much." Loki said sulkily.  
"Pop tarts?" Tony asked.  
"Yes them." Loki said.  
"Yeah you're right." Tony agreed. "You have to be in the kitchen in five minutes." Tony said.  
Five minutes later Loki and Bruce made their way to the kitchen.  
"Hi Loki." Bruce said.  
"What are you doing in here?" Loki asked surprised.  
"It's both of our turns to cook today." Bruce said.  
"Oh." Was all Loki could muster.  
"So what shall we make?" Bruce asked, peering into the fridge.  
"I umm... Have a tiny confession to make." Loki said slowly.  
This was hard for him; he hated admitting he didn't know how to do something. Especially to Bruce.  
"Go on." Bruce said, still searching through the fridge.  
"I can't... I can't cook."Loki said.  
Bruce looked up and said "That's fine. I picked up some nice recipes while I was in India." Bruce said.  
"How about roast chicken with rice?"  
Loki had no idea what that tasted like so he simply nodded.  
"Alright, let's get started. Cut this onion please." Bruce said, handing a dazed Loki an onion.  
"I.. Ummm." Loki said. He wasn't used to being told what to do.  
But he went along with it. The faster he did it, the faster he could get out.  
He began to cut the onion.  
"Aghhhhhhh it is attacking me. Sorcery! Sorcery!" Loki screamed.  
"Loki, stop! It's an onion. It makes your eyes sting. Calm down, before you hurt yourself!" Bruce said.  
Loki ran around the kitchen, with his hands pressed over his eyes; crashing into everything that stood in his way.  
"Loki stop!" Bruce shouted.  
After Loki had calmed down Bruce had to explain to Loki about how onions made your eyes sting.  
"How about you just mix the spices. Can you do that?" Bruce asked.  
Loki nodded.  
After a while, Loki found that he quite enjoyed cooking, even though Bruce kept on telling him what to do. He also found that once he got the the hang of it he was quite good.  
"You know, considering that this is the first time you've cooked, you're really good." Bruce said.  
"Thank you." Loki said.  
He had momentarily forgotten his fear of the man because he was so absorbed in the cooking. But he remembered to be weary of him.  
Suddenly, Loki had an idea.  
"Bruce, I think we should get out own back on Tony." Loki said.  
"Why?" Bruce said looking up from plating the food.  
"He's always playing pranks on everyone else and his head needs deflating." Loki said.  
"Fair point. But how?" Bruce said.  
Loki smirked and picked up a handful of powdered spices and dropped them over Tony's rice then mixed it up. A small smile crept over Bruce's face ...  
"Dinner is served." Loki said as he and Bruce brought the plates to the dining table.  
Steve whole face lighted up with happiness. "Food! At last!"  
"Enjoy." Bruce said.  
A few minutes later everybody was tucking in and loving the food.  
"This is really good. Well done both of you." Pepper said.  
"Yeah. This chicken is really good." Tony agreed.  
"You should try the rice." Bruce said.  
He shot Loki a look and Loki said "Yes, try the rice. I made it."  
Tony took a large forkful of the rice and instantly his face turned bright red.  
"Ahhhh! My mouth! It's burning! Loki, what have you done?!" Tony shouted.  
"I'm sorry I can't hear you over the sound of my ego rising..." Loki said laughing.  
**I hope you enjoyed that and keep the suggestions coming!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks for all the lovely reviews!  
Here is the next chapter and I hope you like it!  
Enjoy...**  
Everybody was exhausted.  
Not only tired but completely exhausted; last night had been a complete nightmare.  
Clint had wandered into Bruce's lab while sleep walking and messed it up. Bruce had got very cross and began shouting at Clint. This had made Natasha cross and she began to shout at Bruce, who in turn hulked out.  
Loki heard Bruce and had a huge panic attack and started hyperventilating and didn't stop until Pepper had managed to calm him down. Thor heard Loki screaming and then began shouting at a large green Bruce for scaring his poor little brother.  
The Hulk did not like this at all and had began pounding Thor very hard into the ground.  
Through the whole thing Tony had only stood there and laughed hysterically at the scene unfolding before him.  
To his bad luck Pepper spotted him and told him off for being so childish and that 'He needed to start behaving like a grown up!'  
Ten minutes after everything had happened Steve had came thundering out his room dressed in his suit and holding his shield.  
"What's the problem?" He asked.  
"Go back to bed Steve." Tony mumbled as everybody trudged back to their rooms; leaving a confused Steve in the hallway.  
Just a typical night in the Avengers Tower.  
Everybody apart from Bruce and Loki sat slumped around the table with mugs of steaming hot coffee.  
"My head hurts!" Tony said.  
"Not as much as mine. I see why my brother is frightened of the man." Thor said, still sporting the bruises of last night.  
"It all your own faults." Pepper said.  
"If you hadn't all got involved none of it would have happened."  
"Anyway, Clint since when did you sleepwalk?" Tony asked.  
"When I was a kid. I forgot to lock the door last night." Clint said embarrassed.  
"Oh I can have lots of fun now." Tony said wickedly; thinking of all the pranks he could pull on Clint now.  
"Don't you even think about Anthony Edward Stark." Pepper said dangerously.  
Just down the corridor, a tired Loki emerged from his room thinking 'I would love a slice of toast.'  
On the opposite side of the corridor Bruce came out of his room thinking the exact same thing, they both headed towards the kitchen only acknowledging each other with a nod.  
Loki's insides were burning with with embarrassment. Now everybody knew his little *cough cough* secret.  
They both stepped into the kitchen at the same time. Bruce only had to take one look at Thor's face to start frantically apologising.  
"It is fine Bruce. You were not yourself last night. " Thor said laughing it off.  
"Honestly, Thor I'm really sorry." Bruce said looking ashamed.  
"And so you should be; you ruined Thor's perfect face!" Natasha said and then went bright red when she realised what she had said.  
Clint's face went a jealous shade of green.  
To save Natasha from her embarrassment Thor ignored what she said.  
"It's fine my friend. It is forgotten."  
Thor said.  
Bruce finally stopped fretting and went to make his toast as did Loki. But there was one problem. There was only one slice of bread.  
"It's mine." Loki said quickly snatching the slice.  
Normally Bruce would have let him have it but he wasn't in the mood. Not after his terrible sleep.  
"No it's mine." Bruce said snatching it back.  
"I am a prince! It's mine!" Loki said taking it back off Bruce.  
"No mine!" Bruce said snatching it away hard.  
Loki was just about to take it back when he saw the veins on the back of Bruce's hands pop up and his eyes turn green.  
"No... No... Not again!" Loki shouted. He was paralysed on the spot until Bruce asked him if he was okay.  
"I'm to clever too die!" He shouted and bolted out the room.  
"I'm definitely ringing a therapist today and booking him in for a appointment." Pepper said getting out her phone.  
Ten minutes later Loki heard a knock on the door. He stopped shivering on his bed and stood up to open the door. Outside the door was a tray with a cup of tea and a slice of toast covered in Loki's favourite jam. Beside it was a note that said 'Sorry' in Bruce's neat handwriting...  
**Hope you all liked that chapter! Be sure to tell me if you did! Also I'm running out of suggestions, please help me if you can!  
P.S. This is a dumb question but I'm going to ask it anyway: Can someone please explain the reindeer games nickname? Is it because of his helmet or something else?  
Thanks!**


	10. Chapter 10

T**hanks for all the great reviews! Today I shall be using msgone's lovely suggestion!  
Enjoy... **  
There was a loud buzz as the doorbell was rung.  
"Who is it Jarvis?" Tony asked, looking up from mending his Iron Man suit.  
"Peter Parker, Sir." Jarvis said robotically.  
"Let him in Jarvis." Tony said, making his way down to greet him.  
"Hey, Tony!" Peter said with a big smile.  
"Hi Spidey." Tony said leading him to the living room where all the Avengers were.  
"I brought pizza." Peter said, showing Tony the three boxes he carried.  
"Good, I'm starving." Tony said opening the door to the living room.  
"Guys, Peter's here. And he's brought food." Tony said.  
Everybody turned around and greeted him happily.  
"Hey Peter, how's your Aunt May?" Pepper asked hugging Peter."I haven't seen you for a while and You're so thin! You should eat more." Pepper said disapprovingly.  
"Sheesh Pepps, you can't be everybody's mother." Tony muttered.  
"Don't talk under your breath Tony." Pepper said.  
"Hi, I'm Steve. I don't believe that we've met before." Steve said shaking Peter's free hand.  
"No we haven't. Nice to meet you." Peter said putting the pizzas down on the table.  
"I do not think we have met either my friend!" Thor boomed.  
Peter held his hand out to shake Thor's but Thor pulled him into a bone crushing hug, Asgardian style.  
When Thor let go Peter was left gasping for air.  
"Let's go eat." Tony said, picking up the pizza boxes and carrying them to the dining room.  
Lunch that day was very noisy; everybody was laughing, smiling and exchanging stories.  
"Hey Nat!" Tony said with a sly grin.  
"Is Peter your brother?"  
"Shut up Tony! I've told you this before. We have got nothing to do with each!" Natasha said loudly.  
"Maybe he's your secret husband?" Tony wondered aloud,not even acknowledging Natasha's outburst.  
"Stop teasing them Tony." Pepper said picking the onions off her pizza.  
"Me? I've never teased any body in my life." Tony said faking innocence.  
On the opposite side of the table Clint was happily telling Peter about the pranks he and Tony had played on Loki.  
After dinner everybody wandered away and went to do their own things until it was only Tony, Clint and Peter left.  
"I'm bored..." Tony said.  
"Let's prank Loki again." Clint said wickedly.  
"Umm... I don't really think that's a good idea.  
"Why?" Tony demanded.  
"It's kinda mean, isn't it?" Peter said.  
"Nah, he loves it!" Clint said.  
Tony, Clint and a reluctant Peter began getting to work.  
About half an hour later when they were done they sprang their plan on a unsuspecting Loki who in turn shrieked loudly.  
"Tony! Clint!" Came a collective shout from across the building...  
**I know it wasn't that funny but I didn't know what to do with the prank! I hope you liked it and keep up the great suggestions!**


	11. Chapter 11

**I hope you like today's chapter! There's no hulkophobia in this chapter.  
Enjoy...**  
"It's here! The Christmas tree is here!" Tony screamed.  
He went thundering down the flights of stairs.  
"What's going on? It's six in the morning? Clint said emerging from his room.  
"The Christmas tree is here!" Tony shouted back.  
"Really?" Clint said running down the stairs barefoot.  
Tony pulled open the front door even before the door bell had been rung.  
"We have a delivery for a Mr Tony Stark." The delivery man said.  
"Yes, yes that's me!" Tony said quickly signing for the delivery.  
"Wow! No wonder you couldn't pick it up yourself! It's massive!" Clint said looking at the tree in awe.  
The tree was huge, so huge in fact it resembled a Hulk that needed a haircut.  
"What's all the commotion? Don't you know the ti... Wow!" Pepper said joining them at the front door.  
"Tony I know you like things to be extravagant but don't you think it's a little too big?"  
Tony had a huge grin in his face "Its Christmas time Pepps! You know Christmas spirit and all that."  
Pepper sighed and shook her head.  
"You're such a kid Tony. I'm going back to bed; try not to make too much noise." Pepper said leaving to go back to sleep.  
The delivery man tapped his foot impatiently.  
"Oh, yeah bring it in." Tony said.  
Clint was now doing a happy dance on the front lawn signing.  
"Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, how lovely are your branches." Very loudly.  
"You want us to carry that?! It's a monster!" The delivery man in disbelief.  
"Oh yeah, wait, I'll be back in a minute." Tony said running to his armoury.  
He quickly put on his iron man suit and ran back to the front door. He went to the giant Christmas tree and heaved it on his shoulder and carried it inside and placed it down.  
"What do you think Hawky?" Tony said.  
Clint looked thoughtful for a moment and then said "A little to the left."  
Tony picked it up and moved it to the left.  
"Yep, that's perfect." Clint said.  
"I'll get the decoration boxes." Tony said happily.  
"Shouldn't we wait for the others?" Clint asked.  
"There's plenty of space on the tree!" Tony said flying up the stairs.  
He came back a few minutes later carrying boxes and boxes of tinsel and baubles.  
"Let's get started then. We can make it a surprise for when the others get up." Tony said.  
"One little problem. How? The the trees to big." Clint said.  
"Simple. I'll wear my suit and lift you up. You can wrap the tinsel around the tree." Tony said tipping the  
boxes onto the floor.  
After about an hour the Christmas tree was done and it looked beautiful.  
"Jarvis..." Tony said.  
"Yes sir." Jarvis said robotically  
"Wake everybody up please. Make the alarms go off." Tony said.  
"They'll all kill you you know." Clint said.  
"When they see the tree they'll forget." Tony said waving it away with a dismissive hand.  
A few minutes later all the avengers (and Loki) stumbled out of their rooms.  
"Tony, Clint. What is the meaning of this..." Thor boomed.  
"Wow!" Natasha said.  
The Christmas tree stood tall and glittering in the morning light. Tinsel wrapped around the branches and shining baubles hung.  
"It's beautiful!" Steve said in a oddly high pitched squeaky voice. Then he coughed embarrassedly and said in a deeper voice. "Umm... Yeah it looks nice."  
"You know what this means." Pepper said.  
"No, Pepper please don't." Tony said shaking his head.  
"We need to decorate baubles!" Pepper said.  
"Yay!" Steve said loudly.  
Everybody turned around to look at him.  
"Umm... Decorating baubles ... How boring." Steve said going bright red...  
**I hope you liked this chapter! Thanks for all those who read, follow, favourite and review! Keep your wonderful** **suggestions coming!**


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